if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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