Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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