Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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