Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
