Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
