marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
