Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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