i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
