Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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