Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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