You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
