Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
