Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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