Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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