Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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