Tell her she can't have a vagina
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
