Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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