is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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