my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize