so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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