Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize