Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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