Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize
