i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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