omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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