I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
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Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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