Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
