Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
