Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
