It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
