Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
