He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
