Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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