I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
me + whiskey = a bad person
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
