i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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