when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
