We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
