Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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