I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
