Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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