White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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