did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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