During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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