May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize