i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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