That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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