you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
