do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
