Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
