He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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