fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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