quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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