Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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