R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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