If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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