He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
