i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
