So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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