nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
