never play flip cup with pint glasses
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
